i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
