She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
