I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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