i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
