So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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