I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
