Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
