You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
