yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
