I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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