Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize