He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There's a naked man in my car right now.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
