he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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