Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
