I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
