I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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