I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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