you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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