I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
