is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
