did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
