if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
