Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
the condom got lost in my hair
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
