You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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