Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
