she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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