You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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