come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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