I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
