Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
