Fuck appropriateness.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
