I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
