The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
