sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he was CRYING into my vagina
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
