If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
