if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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