dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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