Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
