Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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