How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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