Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
