just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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