looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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