what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
