Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
