I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Im part way to drunk.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
