Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
