Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
