my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
