anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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