I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
4 words: hood of his car
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
