I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
