whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
