About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
